Who was at your baby's birth? | Viveka

Who was at your baby's birth?

Amanda Edwards shares her views on the importance of support - and this includes the dads.

Research has shown that birth experiences are more favourable when those attending the mother are known to her. This seems pretty obvious to me, that we are more relaxed in the company of people that we know and trust.

So often today, with lack of funding and a lack of midwives, women and their partners meet their midwife for the first time when they are in labour. As a doula, I slowly build up a relationship with my clients and through treating them with Acupuncture I get familiar with the energetics of their system; and with spiritual counselling we build a positive and loving approach to pregnancy, birth and parenting. So when I am called to the birth we are already in rhythm with each other and this includes the father as well. I know so many midwives would love to have this opportunity too, but find it difficult due to lack of funding and their working hours; they do the best they can.

I look forward to the time when we as a collective value birth as probably the most important event in our lives. Surely how you arrive somewhere, how you are welcomed, colours your view of things. In times gone by 'Godsibs' would attend the woman in birth. These were women, grandmothers and aunts known to the labouring woman. Today, the person closest to the woman and the person who can be consistent throughout the labour and birth is the father or in cases where this is not possible, another family member, friend or doula. There are midwives who can provide one-to-one care and this is satisfying for all concerned. In my Co-Birthing classes I teach couples how to move and breathe together to birth their baby. This creates an intimate and sacred approach to birth. This can deepen the couples' relationship as they learn to depend on and trust each other in the process of birth. This is a great way to start family life together.

At the birth of my first baby I was fortunate to have Yehudi and a wonderful midwife, Jennifer, attending me. Yehudi had been my Gynaecologist and I saw him throughout my pregnancy, so I was very comfortable with him being at the birth and I fully trusted his wisdom. My second birth was a home water birth with an independent midwife, so I had spent my whole pregnancy forming a relationship with her. At both of my daughters' births their father had played an active part, providing loving support, encouragement and attending to the practical issues of maintaining the birthing pool. We had both attended Janet Balaskas's Active Birth classes and were in total agreement as to the vision of our daughter's births. I planned to have water births and due to the support that I had gathered around me, I never believed it would be otherwise. I had two straight forward water births and I can honestly say there was never a doubt in my mind that I wouldn't have these births. I felt the full support of those attending to me and I knew them and they knew me. This created a net of safety for me and allowed me to open and softly surrender to the awesome experience of birth.

Who was at your baby's birth and how did they affect your experience of birth?